Why are women rejecting Feminism?

Firstly, let me give you some personal background as context. I dedicated myself to the “cause” at 12 years old. That was a long time ago, against a background of Greenham Common, Spare Rib and REAL vibrant activism for the good of humanity, not just women.

It pains me to say that I have now rejected Feminism, albeit “modern Feminism”, because all I see is a bunch of bitter, self-pitying wusses. I don’t identify with any of that.

Sadly, this guy said this!

Sadly, this guy said this!

Women have had a hard enough time as it is, women (especially of other cultures) are STILL fighting the fight. And I fully support them and would do anything to help. But self publicists with NON CAUSES I reject. They are NOT helping women, or humanity as a whole. It’s stupid, it’s egotism and it makes me angry when there are more important priorities.

I’ve tried to do “my bit”, however small, as I’ve gone through life, mentoring, promoting and supporting other women (not because they are female – but because they have had potential), men, too, shock horror.

By 12, I’d had a fair amount of shit thrown at me and experiences no child should have; but I’ve USED that. A way to get away from victim-hood is to regain your power in whatever way you can. Strangely, it can make you strong and fearless. If bad things haven’t finished you off, you survived and the other things you face in life are survivable. You are self-reliant.

I have a Twitter account, with a decent amount of followers ( you lovely people) and a blog and a vagina. Does that mean I can claim to be a “Feminist Activist”? It seems so..

Add a column in the (patriarchal!) MSM and a few media appearances and you can claim to be a bastion, a figurehead for all woman-kind. Speaking for ALL women.

Bollocks. Or should I say Ovaries. Same thing except inner or outer.

What gets on my tits (ha!) is the WHINGING. We are NOT powerless. We can stand up and make our views known. We can REFUSE to let others have power over us.

A case in point; internet threats of rape, death, violence, abuse are ALWAYS made by pathetic individuals seeking POWER because they don’t have any.

If you react, especially publicly, you are GIVING THEM POWER. Shut them down, turn them off, tell them to  “Fuck Off and Die” – this is an anathema to them. It reinforces their powerlessness. Sticks and stones and all that.

If you have a deluge of morons threatening you, get some friends to help. Have a laugh at the pathetic fools. Invent some crushing insults of your own, but for speed and efficacy “Fuck Off” and block does the trick.

Now, a note on “causes”. This week, I had a few vociferous  responses to my statement (fuelled by a mention in my local paper about a KEEPING women on banknotes lecture by the doyenne of that ’cause’).

I said I thought there were more important things for Feminists to agitate about, because, excluding The Queen and Britannia, Elizabeth Fry and Florence Nightingale had been on banknotes for several years.

The (patronising) response I got was that ANY cause for women was IMPORTANT and women had to work on being VISIBLE. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been visible for as long as I can remember. Meet me and you’d know. The same goes for anyone with an ounce of self respect. And my friends. So, in my opinion, a lost cause.

But…but…said the “Femininnys” (as I am wont to call them) the woman concerned (they cc’d her, like a sneak) had gone “through so much” and was active in other causes, such as supporting female asylum seekers.

So…I see no need to “support” ANY cause because A) it’s started by a woman B) I should feel pity for that woman having received a nasty online reception (see above) C) because of other work which, due to some patriarchal press conspiracy, was forever hidden away.

Bollocks.

Or ovaries.

Being an outspoken WOMAN, I have called to task a few other self proclaimed “Feminists” in the past. One for whinging about bad reviews on Amazon, exhorting her “feministas” to counter with glowing ones and BUY THE BOOK. I thought this was NOT a strategy to further the cause of womankind and told her so. And called her a “wuss”, because I’m allowed to have an opinion, having a vagina and all.

I also took umbrage at the “Femininny” Twitter Silence in “support” of the banknotes fiasco. We’ve fought for decades for women to have a voice – and we should be silent?

Bollocks.

Or ovaries.

I also object that any female, with a column in one of Murdoch’s rags (a rank example of a sexist pariah, if I’ve ever seen one) telling me and the rest of us women “How to be a Woman” and “How to Bring Up A Girl”!

See what I mean about rampant egotism?

Smacks of the vile Dawkins in reverse.

i also berated a woman bleating about how shaving her legs was “letting down” other women on two fronts: A) Who cares? B)What makes you think you’re a spokeswoman? C) The WHOLE POINT about feminism is the RIGHT TO CHOOSE.

Then there are the ones that use obscure acronyms, basically in a hate campaign against men who are in transition to women. I DON’T care if there’s a woman who happens to have a penis in the ladies room. It’s back to CHOICE again. There’s room for everyone. Gender is irrelevant. So is sexuality, so there!

As for #killallmen – let’s not even go there. Moronic.

I’ve been told to “check my privilege” for the gauche error of being a white woman, who became middle class, from working class roots ON MY OWN EFFORTS, well, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

Then there’s the ongoing mission to report every wolf-whistle and cat call. Yes, some men are inadequate, stupid and yet to evolve. I used to yell back “What’s the matter mate? Lost your dog?” Just ignore it and it will go away. You’re better than them. End of.

REAL physical harassment, rape and abuse are a different thing, entirely. And that’s a cause worth our efforts. Both men AND women. It’s about inadequates and power, again. As is violence against women and girls – both men and women need to call it out and DO something to change society’s attitudes and HELP.

I had to rant, because people like this have destroyed Feminism as I knew it. Perhaps the original movement’s time has come.

I’m declaring myself a Humanist. I want to work on making a fairer society for both men and women. That means being strong, taking back our personal power and not putting up with any nonsense and supporting those who need our help.

it doesn’t mean calling the Police in when you have been insulted by a moron. I’d rather they were tracking down rapists, people traffickers in the sex trade, violent partners and those who commit FGM. wouldn’t you?

Of course, you don’t have to agree with any of the above because you have a CHOICE and that WAS worth fighting for, still is.

6 thoughts on “Why are women rejecting Feminism?

  1. ‘I have a Twitter account, with a decent amount of followers ( you lovely people) and a blog and a vagina. Does that mean I can claim to be a “Feminist Activist”? It seems so.’ Classic . and very astute. I think people should look long and hard before patting themselves on the back for fighting the good fight…..from the safety of their bedroom while they look at cute cat pictures on Facebook at the same time. And that goes for any movement, feminist or otherwise.

  2. Your desire to disassociate with feminism as it is described here, makes sense to me, because I often feel pressure to subjugate my own views to that of some lofty, self-defined and self-qualified feminist group. As a woman who believes strongly in the empowerment of all women, I suspect most of us are simply allowing feminism to be defined by those who are not inclusive enough to represent our full potential as individuals.

    So, rather than accepting those feminist ‘qualifications’ as generated by people who have decided, on their own, what should be considered adequately strident, or ideologically pure, I have simply redefined feminism for myself. I don’t wish to hand over the power of the term itself to those who would not accept most women as being adequate to their ideal. The term evokes wonderful symbolism for me, from suffragettes to artists. I will not accept that feminism should be co-opted by those who might find me fundamentally unqualified for inclusion.

    Where does one even check white privilege and who decides for anyone else? Isn’t it enough to be sensitive to those who wish to have their voices heard? By being silent about racial injustice, as an under-qualified (white) observer, I have witnessed but not experienced as a victim? Am I really expected to be silent? I am not the real enemy of anyone’s female or racial empowerment, even if I shave my legs. I don’t mind if other women or men, do or don’t wish to remove any particular body hair. I support women and men who choose to stay home to care for children, and admire those who resist societal pressures to go against their own ideals. I don’t wish to take personal opportunities or self-esteem away from those same women who find me lacking in sufficient stridency.

    To me, true feminism is simply a matter of supporting the ultimate self-actualization of people without gender limitations. The other, more exclusive definitions, which involve a holier-than-thou shaming of the majority of women, are anti-feminist in effect. They disempower women. That sucks. So does the idea of women like you feeling excluded from what should be a warm, roomy, inclusive sisterhood of feminism.

  3. Social Media needs to infantilise and shout at the same time to create the pointless momentum you talk about. Trafficking, rape, domestic Violence et al are fights that will take years to overcome and that is where the power of organised womanhood (and men too methinks) should lie.

  4. I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with the attitudes of some women that don’t fully understand what is happening. You can see examples on the “Women against feminism” movement that has been bubbling up on the Internet. It is embarrassing and demotivating for someone like me and probably for yourself who just wants to see genuine change in the world. It is apparent that there are lots of people, including women, who want to preserve the status quo and it is evident from music videos such as “Anaconda” by Nick Minaj that “post-feminism” is becoming more and more a part of the fabric of main stream culture. It’s almost getting to a point where I can’t even call myself a feminist anymore because modern feminism is so far removed from the 90s, bra burning attitude that I built my own identity and principles on. Everyone changes their minds – I just find it sad that women are yet again feeling confused about their role in society, the media is still promoting the patriarchal agenda and women are now turning on each other. Change will never happen if these trivialities keep dividing us.

    • I’m of the same view. Nu Wave feminism has changed into something I don’t agree with or recognise. Role models like Miley Cyrus claim sexual emancipation when we can see the exploitation; other so called “strong women” whine like little girls when challenged. Divided we fall.

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